Lay, lady, lay, lay across my big brass bed,
Stay, lady, stay, stay while the night is still ahead.
I long to see you in the morning light.
I long to reach for you in the night.
While I would never want to lay with Bob Dylan, they’re good words to hear. But let’s not kid ourselves – sex is about two people who are seeking the same end result: an orgasm. Yet, it doesn’t always end that way for everyone.
I’ll admit it: I’ve faked an orgasm. And I don’t know many girls who haven’t. More recently, however, I’ve started to examine the sexual experience from a man’s perspective. The important question is, does a woman's orgasm matter to a man?
The easiest answer is yes, but it’s always more complicated than a simple yes or no. The conclusion I’ve reached is such – guys have a vested interest in a girl’s orgasm if he genuinely has feelings for them. While this is a broad and sweeping generalization and there are many exceptions. I know some guys who simply get off on the control of being able to get a woman off. Think of it as a satisfaction of a job well done mixed with power struggle. Aside from that, how much do men invest into giving us pleasure?
I have two theories that can explain the perpetual lack of satisfaction.
Honestly the first one is just logistics. Women’s genitals are vastly more complicated than a man’s. While every “rose” is beautiful, it has to be intimidating to approach uncharted territory every time. Considering that, add to it that the female orgasm is also harder to achieve. As previously discussed, women have two means of achieving an orgasm (vaginal and clitoral). So it would make sense that this undertaking would make more sense after taking the time to get to know the woman individually.
But then again, you have to ask yourself “ask not what he can do for you, but what can you do for yourself?” As far as he knows, what he is doing should do the trick. As a woman, you have to harness and control that orgasm. The same way men can keep themselves from finishing, you can control yourself to expedite the process. My mother always says, the mark of an intelligent woman is one that can make a man do what she wants while making him think it was his idea all along. Be honest. Be constructive. Be sensitive.
In the end, there is nothing better than knowing you accomplished a goal. Some guys make their woman’s orgasm more of a priority than others. When it comes down to it, sex is by no means a spectator sport. The best sex is when both parties try to outdo each other and really please their partner. The bible was right: “Love thy neighbor”, hopefully a few times a night.
The easiest answer is yes, but it’s always more complicated than a simple yes or no. The conclusion I’ve reached is such – guys have a vested interest in a girl’s orgasm if he genuinely has feelings for them. While this is a broad and sweeping generalization and there are many exceptions. I know some guys who simply get off on the control of being able to get a woman off. Think of it as a satisfaction of a job well done mixed with power struggle. Aside from that, how much do men invest into giving us pleasure?
I have two theories that can explain the perpetual lack of satisfaction.
Honestly the first one is just logistics. Women’s genitals are vastly more complicated than a man’s. While every “rose” is beautiful, it has to be intimidating to approach uncharted territory every time. Considering that, add to it that the female orgasm is also harder to achieve. As previously discussed, women have two means of achieving an orgasm (vaginal and clitoral). So it would make sense that this undertaking would make more sense after taking the time to get to know the woman individually.
But then again, you have to ask yourself “ask not what he can do for you, but what can you do for yourself?” As far as he knows, what he is doing should do the trick. As a woman, you have to harness and control that orgasm. The same way men can keep themselves from finishing, you can control yourself to expedite the process. My mother always says, the mark of an intelligent woman is one that can make a man do what she wants while making him think it was his idea all along. Be honest. Be constructive. Be sensitive.
In the end, there is nothing better than knowing you accomplished a goal. Some guys make their woman’s orgasm more of a priority than others. When it comes down to it, sex is by no means a spectator sport. The best sex is when both parties try to outdo each other and really please their partner. The bible was right: “Love thy neighbor”, hopefully a few times a night.